Why Aren't You Watching Netflix's "The Witcher"?

Netflix’s The Witcher is a crazy-sexy show, filled with sword wielding muscles and potions galore.

Henry Cavill (Geralt), who outmuscled himself for this show, was initially turned down by the show-runner, Lauren Schmidt for the role. Then after auditioning 270 actors and none of them fitting, Cavill came in and was indeed the Geralt she’d been waiting for.

Not only did he practice sword training at work and at home, but he also declined to use a stunt double for the show, because he’s like basically the witcher in real life.

Also, did we mention there’s witch training and freaky spells in this, too?

Magic lovers will fall in love with Yennefer, played by Anya Chalotra, who gets sent to a scary witch school and goes from a cooked spine girl who works in a pig stable to the kind of woman any man would be terrified to talk to.

Also, there’s a funny jester, played by Joey Batey, who sings catchy songs like “Toss a coin to your witcher” and provides tons of comedic relief.

I know what you’re thinking, “COMEDY AND FIGHTING AND DEMONS AND MAGIC AND SONGS AND NAKED HOT BODIES??” Yes! It has all of that!

The writing is killer, especially when it’s said in Cavill’s deep voice, which he made even deeper for this show.

One of my favorite quotes from the show is where Geralt says, “If I have to choose between one evil and another, then I prefer not to choose at all.”

I rate this show on what I call the “Tara’s Emoji Scale” below.

I give The Witcher…

One perfect emoji 👌

One strong arm emoji, which is 3 times smaller than Henry’s everything. 💪

One witch emoji, but not for the witcher. It’s for the crazy witches that are also in this show. 🧙‍♀️

One princess emojis, because there’s royalty in this and she looks just like the character CIRI. 👸

One sword emoji, because you’ve never seen sword fighting like this. ⚔️

Whew! You made it! This is where I stop writing and you go watch The Witcher.

Please don’t forget to let me know if you love it too, or even if you hate it. You know I wanna see those emojis before I wanna see words, because that requires a little thing called reading, ya feel me? You guys get it.