When You're Trying to Take Care of You

When you’re trying to take care of you, it can be tough when you’re in a lot of pain.

Grief can hit you hard and at the most unexpected times, while informing every other part of your life, in ways you weren’t prepared for.

Sometimes we try so hard to be the person who is the epitome of an upstanding solo human being. Other times, it literally feels impossible to sit alone and deal with matters of the heart, yet again.

If I was built so well to withstand almost everything alone, then why, at times, do i feel like i am without foundation?

Why would the universe have prepped me to lose it all at a younger age, if I wasn’t supposed to be a full on vault by the time I was a true adult?

Fuck if I know.

I suppose I’m half vault, half human. In pain, at times, and grateful to feel it. There’s nothing else better in the world to compare joy against, than pain. Grief is only a pathway to the many rainbows that lie ahead. Rainbows which would not exist if it wasn’t for the salt water raining down your face.

Should the sun come out tomorrow and your grief set behind the mountain, remember to be thankful. Your days are not endless, but your love is unlimited. You’ve got so many more miles to spread hugs, love and laughter. Travel them well my idiot army. ❤️


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#TaraErickson #Idiotarmy #SelfCare #Pain

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