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The Chase in the Game of Dating

My friend went on a date recently and told me her date said, "I'm not into chasing women anymore. I used to, but I'm over that."

For the next week she was afraid if she didn't text him and start up conversations that the whole thing would dissipate. I just told her to keep swiping. She hated my answer.

Look, it's not necessary to chase someone, BUT, boys chase girls, girls chase boys, boys chase boys and girls chase girls, since the beginning of time. I think if someone says to you, they're done chasing, know that they will eventually find someone they do want to chase and it will naturally happen. Sadly, if they say this to your face, you are not it.

In relationships people get lost along the way, they fall too deeply into the other person, they lose sight of their dreams, goals and even themselves. If you settle on someone who didn't have the gall to chase you in plain sight, they won't have the skills to find you if you fall off track in the relationship. They probably won't even know anything's gone wrong. Someone who's given up the chase is someone who's not looking for something that takes work, they want something to fall into their lap. There's plenty of lap fallers out there for them. They like to club a lot, in my experience.

People need to remember that relationships are nothing like Disney movies and more like a mixture of 80's horror movies once you get into it. There are days you're going to hate each other and want the other person to just go away, but then there are days where you'll never laugh so hard with anyone else. That is the diabolical, enchanting part of being in love and every single day takes work. I'm not saying it shouldn't be easy, but it should challenge you.

The chase isn't a game, it's a necessary piece of the puzzle which weeds out the ones who truly desire you versus the ones who are unmoved. If you're in the take it or leave it phase, go with the apathetic ones. If you're looking for the thing, choose to be chased. It only lasts so long until you end up doing Netflix and chill in your pjs 5 days a week with said person anyway. The chasers will be the ones who, even after years, will sit next to you on your worst days and know the value of what that time means.

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