Take More Time to "Fuck Off" and Stop Feeling Guilty About It
Everyone needs an escape from life, whether that be through camping, alcohol, surfing, tv...this list goes on. Everyone has a thing they can use to escape from their lives momentarily. I tend to use 2 glasses of wine as my way of escape, but sometimes still struggle with doing that instead of working, even if the clock reads 7pm. Then the anxiety comes on strong and feeds the guilt which then makes it too hard to get anything done and then I HAVE TO ESCAPE. At this point, I end up having that glass of wine and haphazardly surfing through Netflix while feeling like an unaccomplished loser. This silly dialogue I have with myself is unnecessary and just sets me up for a shit night. I've started this new thing where I actually remind myself to be really present when taking a breather and remind myself to be grateful.
We all need breaks and should we choose to take one, it's important that we really take it and are present during that time of fucking off and remember to be thankful for it. This is not an easy thing to do, but once you put it into practice you'll feel differently, which should be enough to help you continue.
I'm learning to approach my daily escape with gratitude. Should I choose to have 2 glasses of wine and watch a movie, I shouldn't feel guilty for not working and then use the wine as a way to escape those thoughts, but instead be grateful that I can even have two glasses of wine and take the time to watch a movie.
Movies are the thing that I've been in love with as a kid and I should be able to relish every second of it. Most of the time I do, but there are times where I catch myself saying, "What else could I be doing right now while I'm watching this?", which is a shit way to watch a movie. I'm doing myself a disservice by not fully engaging. More often than not, movies have changed my life and my way of thinking, so I owe them the respect to do that again, every single time I sit down and press play. This art could feed mine and then I'd only end up in a place of thankfulness afterwards. I should approach it with the child like wonder I felt when I would watch The Wizard Of Oz over and over. I was never worried about the lack of time I wasn't spending with my karaoke machine, I was only worried about how the fuck Dorothy was gonna deal with those demon monkeys. So, why cant I choose to go back to that and tell myself everyday that I am taken care of and I'm safe? Tell myself that I'm choosing gratitude in this moment rather than fear of what I haven't accomplished?
Worrying about it changes nothing, so why not just give yourself fully over to whatever escape you've chosen? SIDE BAR: If your daily escape is an addiction or dangerous to yourself or those around you, then it's time to find help and find a safer escape like crocheting or painting. I'm talking a glass of wine or 2 at the end of the night kind of escape here people! Don't get it twisted ya weirdos!
An escape chosen in gratitude could change your whole outlook on how you want to approach your days ahead.
You'll realize that your everyday moments have indeed become the escape you never knew was present. Your life becomes full of steal away moments that can feed your soul, without the need to travel to China just to feel something different. There's a way to feel differently, feel free and feed your soul. You can do this just by approaching moments outside of the grind with gratitude. When your mind wanders, bring it back to "I'm grateful for this moment of fucking off", because this moment, here, right now, is honestly all you've got."
