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Remembering The Ones Who Made Me

Today marks 5 years…

“Punky, you’re a star” is what she’d always say to me. Yeah, Yeah, every parent says, “You’re a star!” to every kid, but it matters a great deal when it’s tailored just for you. It’s been 5 years today since I’ve heard that from my mom and it’ll be a long time till I hear it again. Just like it’s been a long time since I’ve heard Mi Abuelita say, “Que Pasa, my child?”

At this very moment, my biggest fans and the two women responsible for the bang-up job on #ThisIdiot are without a doubt arguing over who they think cheated in their game of chinese checkers. On other days, in being out of her trapped body, I’m sure my mom has done what she’s always wanted and whisked away to the ocean to say hi to the humpback whales. Standing ashore, I can see Mi Abuelita delighting in the joys of no longer seeing her daughter confined to her broken body, but her Adriana, experiencing life as it should be. They make fun of each other, laugh until they cry, and then end it all, in the sun, over a bowl of beans and chili. Together, as mom and daughter should be… free.

Although it hurts, I can say that I’m happier knowing they are together.

Yes, I’m an only child and that safety net, that most people get to have as they get older, is gone. But, from the start, they molded me to be strong, fearless, and independent, so I’d probably crash through any safety nets anyway. The only net I need is knowing I had 2 parents who truly supported and loved me 100%, in whatever I did. My aunt is my remaining family and she and I are more alike than you’d know. She has gracefully filled their footsteps, makes me laugh, and reminds me that my mom is ever-present when reading my kids' book. My aunt says my mom visits her and flickers the lights when she reads it. lol.

They never asked me to give up once, but would only say “Keep going Punky”, “You’ll get there, my child”. I realize not everyone gets that, so I’m content in knowing I’m the lone soldier who did.

I promise to continue to make you laugh and make you proud up there because I know you wouldn’t want it any other way. We three are cut from the same cloth, so know that I have been made well.

I’ll see you up there after all these dreams down here come to fruition. It may take a while, but as you know, although defeat lingers, I’ll never give up. It wasn’t how I was raised.

Play a game for me up there, I pick the yellow marbles.

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