For You Mom (Happy Mother's Day)

Mom,

You gave me the best of your time, all of your love and showed me truly, what courage looks like.

I just have to think of you when I’m scared shitless and then I remember I’ve been prepared for whatever comes next by an extraordinary woman.

Lately, my dreams have felt like they are becoming too hard to bear, but then I hear you saying, “I’m your number 1 fan Punky and if you’re not doing it, no one else can take your place... so you’ve gotta keep doing it.” Good news for your Mothers Day, I’ll never not do it mom. My heart gives me no choice in the matter and luckily I was raised by a woman who always respected matters of the heart. I will carry on till the day my heart stops bleeding pure love for the exact thing that gives me life and sometimes crushes my soul. You had your fair share of soul crushing events so I know you’d be the one to see the light amongst that shadowed phrase. You were always the one, alongside, Mi Abuelita, who would laugh at my darkest jokes and I miss that. I miss the allowance you’d give me, to just be me... whether that be dark or bright. Whatever way I came, you’d still be there cheering me on. You understood that life shouldn’t always be seen through one lens. You saw the joy and beauty in the day to day, even when you were chained to legs that didn’t work and pain that never went away. You taught me that there’s a world of color outside the darkness of our own minds. When I lose sight of that color, I simply tap into the parts of you inside of me and I know that darkness is only a path towards being more grateful for the rainbow that, inevitably, waits around the corner. Even when you’re not here, #ThisIdiot will make sure she spreads hugs, love and laughter even on my darkest days, because I’ve got Adriana’s blood coursing through my veins and that 👏🏻queen👏🏻always👏🏻prevailed👏🏻 Thanks, Mom. ❤️You. Say hi to mi abuelita and save the yellow Chinese checkers for me.